Honesty is the Best Policy

I haven't written in this blog for a while now, I think that it's because since I came home from Semana Santa (Easter Holidays) I haven't been exactly sure what to write. Before and after holidays we (Ariela and I) had a small bump with the school administration. I want to be honest about the experience, but I also don't want to complain about it (which is what I feel I would be doing if I were to tell the truth). So I've been waiting for some other inspiration to write about something else. But that didn't really happen, since nothing new has really been happening over here. Instead, with time, I think I've come to see the situation as a learning experience, which is what I've chosen to write about in this entry.


The short, short version of what happened, is that Ariela and I, wanting to leave for Easter holidays 2 days early (having thought it through first), didn't ask the right people for permission to do so. We did what we thought we were supposed to do (as we had experienced in other situations, etc.) and talked it over with the teachers we were going to work with on the two missed days. They ok'd the plan, no problems. As the day we were supposed to leave got closer, the teachers started to worry that they probably should have told us that we needed to talk to the administration (an assistant principal, or the principal himself) which they hadn't done. On the Friday, the last day we were working before holidays, they decided to confront us and ask us who we had asked permission from. We were a little confused and said that we had talked it over with them. Making a long story short, they told us just to go on the trip but made it clear that we were going without the proper permission (it was too late at that point, since they didn't tell us in advance). We weren't, and still aren't sure if the confusion was our fault, their fault, a cultural difference, or a total misunderstanding. 


Coming back after Easter holidays, we were called into Luis Carlos' (the principal) office. We went in after school and sat down, and he asked us to tell him about our "escapada from the school", and why we didn't come to ask him for permission. I explained what we had done and how with what they had told us, it had seemed like we were set to go. He went on to talk about the fact that we could have been kidnapped by Al Kaida and that Morocco is a dangerous country where anything could happen to anybody from any country. The conversation went on for a while, and then we were let out to go home for lunch. 


Now I want to start the part of the entry where I say what I learned from this experience. I'll talk about how I felt and how I dealt with the situation. 


First off, on the Friday afternoon that the teachers talked to us, I fought every urge in me to argue. I know that part of my personality is that I think things should always be fair. At that time I felt like I was being accused for making a mistake that I made because I wasn't informed by the people who knew better and could have helped me. I'm completely willing to accept that I could have gone on my own even though they didn't tell me I had to, but I trusted that they would tell me what the procedure was (since they have all worked there for a long time). I ended up not arguing at all, and instead following Ariela's lead entirely. She handled the situation very maturely, by admitting that we had made a mistake, and making sure that the problem hadn't caused any ripples in the good relationship we had made with the teachers. I realize that this is the way that things have to be handled. That sometimes you have to just say sorry and move along, even though you might not get to share your side of things. After the little "chat" I left feeling very uneasy and upset, because I felt like they were disappointed with us and that we had made a huge mistake, that was impossible to fix at that time. 


When we went to talk to Luis Carlos, I found myself taking more of a lead in the conversation. I explained that we never had the intention to overstep or hide from his authority, and they we understood completely that anything could have happened to us. What did make me uncomfortable was the fact that while we sat talking to him I didn't feel like an employee or part of the team, instead I felt like a student, I felt like I had skipped class, and that I was now in trouble, maybe going to get a suspension or something. 


I feel like I've learned a lot about myself over the last couple years and one of the things I've learned is that when I make a mistake, I simply like to be told that I've done something wrong, and then be told how I need to do it next time. I've always been at good self-discipline and never really needed any type of lectures to get things into my head. I felt like I'd been lectured more than the situation deserved, and that the message could have been delivered in a much less severe and dramatic way.


Honesty is the best policy.


After the talk with Luis Carlos, I decided to show him that I understood exactly what he had said, exactly what he had told us to do if the situation came up again. Two days later I stopped by his office to ask to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him about the last day of my work term, June 15th. It falls on a Tuesday this year, and since I don't work at the high school on Mondays, I wanted to formally and properly ask for permission to rearrange the 1 hour class I had on the Tuesday, so I could finish on the Friday instead. I brought him a photocopy of my schedule and showed him the hour I was looking to change. He agreed without problems to my proposal, and I left feeling so great. It was a good feeling to know that I had proper permission, from the right person, to do what made most sense for me. 


To sum this learning experience up, here are some of the important lessons I've learned:

• To assume is to make an ASS of U and ME. Although the teachers told us it would be OK, we should have still asked if we needed to do anything else.
• To more easily avoid problems, it's a good idea to set out all expectations and rules out on the table right from the beginning. 
• Sometimes I won't be able to have the last word, and I might just have to suck it up and say I'm sorry.